Letter Saver Pillows

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

Evolution.

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

Investing your savings

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Roasting the Moneybox

His temperature appears to rise and fall with the FT index

Saving for College.

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Santa called but you were out!

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"It failed the stress test."