Strict Parent Humor Gifts

"I don't care if you met him outside the library. No daughter of mine is dating a guy who's overdue!"

"Wow, your parents are very strict! Me, I can go out every night..."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

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:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Use your inside scream."

Sperm Whale.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"She's a natural!"

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

Billy strip: help with homework.

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

'Mom, I need a push.'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Aliens from the planet of the yellow snow. 'Don't eat the white snow.'

"I love to hear the pitter-patter-patter...patter of his tiny feet."

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

Playing in the park....child on a leash.