Parent-child Humor Gifts

'Beats me why, but it's a sensitive subject: Some people will call you a Buffalo while others will call you a Bison...'

"It took me a long time, daddy, but I think I've wiped that smirk off my face now!"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Trick or Tweet

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"She's a natural!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

'Now listen: The big hairy ones are the hunters, while the smaller ones with long hair are the gatherers...'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'Dad, how come we never see and of them in flight?'

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

Billy strip: help with homework.

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"