Parent-child Humor Gifts

'Beats me why, but it's a sensitive subject: Some people will call you a Buffalo while others will call you a Bison...'

"It took me a long time, daddy, but I think I've wiped that smirk off my face now!"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Trick or Tweet

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'Now listen: The big hairy ones are the hunters, while the smaller ones with long hair are the gatherers...'

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"She's a natural!"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

Billy strip: help with homework.

'Dad, how come we never see and of them in flight?'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."