Father-child Humor Gifts

'Now listen: The big hairy ones are the hunters, while the smaller ones with long hair are the gatherers...'

'Dad, how come we never see and of them in flight?'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

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:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"She's a natural!"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

Billy strip: help with homework.

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

Aliens from the planet of the yellow snow. 'Don't eat the white snow.'

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

"I love to hear the pitter-patter-patter...patter of his tiny feet."

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

'My daddy thinks you're really funny. He's always telling mommy about the clown he works for!'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"