Stretching Superstar Gifts

'See that? A pile of twigs! That's how you end up if you don't stretch properly before the game.'

You're never too old for pilates!

"Go ahead, Perkins. I can listen to your report and roll out my hammies at the same time."

"Taylor must be taking yoga. How else could he get his foot in his mouth so easily?"

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

'Keep fit.'

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

"What's ticking away in your filing system?"

Office Safety.

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

Gymnast tangled up.

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

'Needless to say, discus-thrower Bill Nordlander went to college on a full athletic scholarship.'

The family tradition lives on: I won the Long Jump and the Triple Jump events...

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

Yoga in Heaven