Stretching Superstar Pillows

'See that? A pile of twigs! That's how you end up if you don't stretch properly before the game.'

You're never too old for pilates!

"Go ahead, Perkins. I can listen to your report and roll out my hammies at the same time."

"Taylor must be taking yoga. How else could he get his foot in his mouth so easily?"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Yoga Beginners Class. Breathe and stretch. That's Good. URGH! OOOF! "Yoga pants" should be something you wear and not something that happens because you can't catch your breath!

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

'Keep fit.'

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

"What's ticking away in your filing system?"

"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

Office Safety.

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

'Yes, doctor, I sang to her constantly as a baby. Her first words were ‘Gimme Ipod'.'

George Best

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

Gymnast tangled up.

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

'Needless to say, discus-thrower Bill Nordlander went to college on a full athletic scholarship.'

"My first video flopped. Okay. Bad script. But then I did a walk-on for Disney and wound up with a three-video streaming deal."