Stressful Shopper Pillows

"Happy Easter!"

Smart card.

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

Down on Her.

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

Cash Rebate

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

“We need eggs, milk, bread... Oh, and get an extra-large tub of outrage. We’re running low.”

Man is attacked by barcodes.

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

The back-to-school shopping season claims its first victim.

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

"Only twelve more hours to go, what are you hoping to bag?!!"

'They didn't fit when you got them home? Maybe your contents settled during shipping?'

"Honestly, I think this was a waste of money."

"Would you like to pay with card, cash or the dim and shredded remains of my remaining dreams?"

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

'Do these pants make me look fat?'

Woman trying on clothes and ripping them - Breakages to be paid for.

"We're closed!"

'It's been raining all day. There's nothing to do.'

. . .The frustrated citizen goes to the one place where she can recapture some shred of personal power and control. . .The Bed and Bath Superstore.

Brian felt sure he had been wearing trousers when he had first visited the men's outfitters!

'Call me when you invent the warranty.'

Incredibly Inexpensive Security Systems' advertise 'Pretty Good Set Ups. 1/2 the price, 2/3 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional break-ins.

'I don't like the looks of this.'