Stress Analyzers Gifts

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Computer Room.

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"I'm swamped but I can squeeze you in for a few moments yesterday."

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

Yesterday I had an argument with the janitor of my building, and then last night I dreamed that he was chasing me with a large ball-peen hammer

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

"With great power comes great, great stress."

Very fat 'Office' facing more waiters with trays of demand

"It's all about putting work into the right perspective...and this helps me!"

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

"No, mom. . . it was last winter when I was skating on thin ice. This spring I'm just walking a fine line."

"I think it's the road to Stressville...."

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

'Could you put a little more effort into that 'IN' box of yours?'

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

'Special Delivery!'

Jealousy

"Don't get caught."

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

'Not only do we have a great retirement program, our employees age more quickly.'

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

Closed system: Worry-powered TV set.

Road Guilt

'Yes, puberty did put me through a lot of stress. . . but it was my daughters puberty.'

'Tired, depressed, stomach upset, sounds like you're just back from a family holiday.'