Anxiety Analyzers Gifts

Road Guilt

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"But what if this is all there is?"

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

Free-Floating Anxiety

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

Hypochondria Hospital

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"You call that worrying?"

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

"My main worry is my anxiety."

'I'm not mad! I'm fuming!'

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

Parental Anxiety

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

From the tournament of neuroses parade