Anxiety Analyzers Gifts

Road Guilt

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"But what if this is all there is?"

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

Yesterday I had an argument with the janitor of my building, and then last night I dreamed that he was chasing me with a large ball-peen hammer

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

Hypochondria Hospital

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"You call that worrying?"

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"My main worry is my anxiety."

'I'm not mad! I'm fuming!'

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

Parental Anxiety

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"