Stranded Golfer Gifts

'You had enough power in our cell phone to make one last call, and instead of getting us rescued, you cancel your tee-time?'

"At least my putting has improved."

'He lived and died for golf.'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

Hole in forty-seven.

'Did you see my ball come by here?'

"A man can't fully enjoy golf until he has a family of his own to avoid."

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Let's see, that is one..two..three shots into the water.

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

"Somewhere we must have strayed off the course."

When Paul finally emerges, his partner is gone, and he is left to finish the round with a cooler of beer all to himself and no one to catch him cheating.

Suddenly, on the 18th tee at Augusta, Leonard whales on his air guitar right in the middle of a backswing.

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

'Replace divots'

'It wouldn't be so bad to play golf in winter if the balls were just another color.'

'...But Dewey here just won't let it go. So he tells Vern, 'Ok, I triple-dog-dare you to stick a putter in your ear'...'

Golfing Accident

2042

Remember that club you threw last month and couldn't find?

'It looks like I'm finally going to break 70.. this is my 69th club I've broken.'

"He missed a hole-in-one by an inch and a half."

'It seemed like a great place to set up shop, in case things won't work out well next door'

'A remote controlled golf ball! Yes, of course!'

For sale - used only once.

Golfing across the islands.

'Actually, it's funny you should say that - I'm bored stupid too.'

'We keep playing bottle tag.'

Desert island putting green.

Books. Ernest Hemingway Festival. Did you read Hemingway's book "Across the River and Into the Trees"? No. I didn't even know he played golf.

'The groom picked the right day to chicken out!'

'And now time for operation: Hit golf balls into windows!'

'We've taken a vote. Since you're a doctor, we don't see why not.'

"I'm very glad you found a relaxing activity to enjoy during your retirement."

Missing Ball.