Misguided Golfer Gifts

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

Hole in forty-seven.

"At least my putting has improved."

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."

Let's see, that is one..two..three shots into the water.

'I knew it! Come back here!'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

When Paul finally emerges, his partner is gone, and he is left to finish the round with a cooler of beer all to himself and no one to catch him cheating.

"So he pulls out a 1 iorn, see? I say to him. Bob I says, not even God can hit a 1 iron. Then, there was a flash of light and boom!"

"Somewhere we must have strayed off the course."

Suddenly, on the 18th tee at Augusta, Leonard whales on his air guitar right in the middle of a backswing.

Watch your language.

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

'You told me to address the ball, so I did!'

Golfing Accident

'...But Dewey here just won't let it go. So he tells Vern, 'Ok, I triple-dog-dare you to stick a putter in your ear'...'

'You had enough power in our cell phone to make one last call, and instead of getting us rescued, you cancel your tee-time?'

"Harry's putting is not the only thing that stinks!"

"He missed a hole-in-one by an inch and a half."

'SOME bunker this, eh?'

'It looks like I'm finally going to break 70.. this is my 69th club I've broken.'

Remember that club you threw last month and couldn't find?

Today will start off with an interesting twist.

Bah Humbug!

"I said to make a left at the fourteenth green!!"

Books. Ernest Hemingway Festival. Did you read Hemingway's book "Across the River and Into the Trees"? No. I didn't even know he played golf.

'A remote controlled golf ball! Yes, of course!'

'It seemed like a great place to set up shop, in case things won't work out well next door'

For sale - used only once.

"That's not a divot so much as a major geological event."

"In this tournament we have created a different level of difficulty."

'Call my chiropractor!'

Keep calm, play golf.

"I'm very glad you found a relaxing activity to enjoy during your retirement."