Stout Aficionado Gifts

The beer idea.

"This place has the best happy hour."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'No ice.'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Back to work...

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

You're the botanicals in my gin

Allegro con molto espresso

You've Had Enough!

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Shaken not stirred

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Law School teacher.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"