Storytime Survivor Gifts

Grandma starts to bore her grandchild.

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"