Storytime Survivor T-Shirts

Grandma starts to bore her grandchild.

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

The Poky Little Pupa.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"