Storytime Narrator T-Shirts

"Why, all the better to...nah you're right - that's pretty incriminating."

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

Parenting Skills Training

"It's by A.I. Milne."

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'You'd better stop reading, Dad... you're making me sleepy.'

"Can you read me a bedtime story about ponies, next time?"

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

Noah's Nark.

Grimm's Fairytales - Pee Wit; Luring Villagers into the Lake

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

Old woman who lives in a shoe with sick children.

'Let's get a few things straight. No speed reading, no silly voices, no skipping pages...'

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

Wolf snacks vending machine: 3 Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks.

'Once upon a time there were three people...'

'Wait a minute...You're the enchanted unicorn?'

Woman and books.

'Freddie, the Little Merger Mogul, didn't expect to have a monopoly right away...'

'But then after chopping down the beanstalk, Jack's legal nightmare began...'

How to murder birds

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

"And all was good within the kingdom...until the evil prince introduced income tax!"

Fairy narratives

'You really got to him with your birds and bees chat - now he wants flying lessons!'

"These beans that Jack planted...can we assume they were genetically modified?"

'Well, it may appear sound, Mr Pig, but in my opinion, a huff or a puff could soon bring the place down.'

'And they all lived happily ever after, once the prince's lawyers sorted out the pre-nuptial...'

'Plus I found this great set of porridge bowls!'