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And then the frog was turned into a hideous prince...

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'A is for Arse.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

Don Quichotte

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

Reading in the family.

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."