Storytime Humorist T-Shirts

"Okay, I'll accept that the big, bad wolf blew your house down, but I don't believe he 'nicked your D.V.D. recorder and plasma T.V.'."

'Plus I found this great set of porridge bowls!'

"Keep reading. I have to do a book report on that tomorrow."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."