Storytime Entertainer T-Shirts

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'A is for Arse.'

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

Reading in the family.

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."