Storytime Revivalist T-Shirts

"Your sense of loss, … Is it youth, .. Innocence, hopes and dreams, of is it actually sheep?"

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Little Princess.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'A is for Arse.'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"