Storytime Escapist T-Shirts

"Oh, great. The bunny runs away and lives high on the hog on my tax dollars. Next!"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

Last Chance For Reality

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

"And what's the story behind the story?"

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Can you read me a bedtime story about ponies, next time?"

" 'And so the crack-whore princess and her pimp lived happily ever after. The end.' O.K., that's it. Lights out."

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

"This is highly confidential, so, yes, we built a little fort."

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Zoo Employees

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Sleeping Tiger

Houdini 2019

'Freddie, the Little Merger Mogul, didn't expect to have a monopoly right away...'

Worker to Boss: "I'd like to work flexible hours to avoid my children."

Will Make You Sick So You Can Go Home.

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

Please read my favourite bedtime story, it always has a sleepy ending.

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"Ancient times? Is that like when my grandmother was young?"

American Idle

Message in a bottle.

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'