Storytime Supporter Gifts

'Because when you're old and lonely, you'll get mail from your alumni association. That's why you need to graduate from college.'

"I realise that it shows a lack of maturity .. But I like baby talk."

"Bore me to sleep, Daddy."

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

A werewolf reads "Hello Moon" to his child.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"And this little piggy said, 'Putting aside the fact that we are domesticated pigs, and can subsist quite well on a diet of corn and grains, there is the very real and disturbing possibility that the roast beef you're eating was our dear friend Margie.'"

'The amazing part isn't that she found Prince Charming... but that she did it without some dating service!'

'Read me the fairy tale about Obama!'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

The Poky Little Pupa.

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'