Storyteller With A Twist Gifts

"I like 'Cinderella' - it's just that I feel the characters of the stepsisters are underwritten."

I get my ideas on sale...

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

Unreliable Narrator

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

Shepherd and eurydice

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Swan Fairy Tales

Edgar Allen Poe

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.