Storyteller Of Twisted Tales Gifts

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

Witch dice.

fairy tales

Fairy tale

I get my ideas on sale...

The Battle of the Pictures.

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Shakespearean Actor

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your...Hey!'

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

Bank Robbery - The CEOs took the money a long time ago.

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

'Tell my wife I can't speak to her right now. However, she can send me a fax detailing the info on whether she had a boy or a girl.'

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

'This next song is about a close call and a near success. It's called The Grant that Got Away.'

"I like 'Cinderella' - it's just that I feel the characters of the stepsisters are underwritten."

"Deep down, I really believe the people of this country would've LOVED our brand of freedom and democracy. Too bad they didn't survive it."

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

'Goliath's only human and think of the benefits of a replay.'

"No, it's a unicorn, not a one-point buck."

"Of course, this prediction has a plus or minus margin of error of 80% or 90%."

Unreliable Narrator

Why don't we wait until we know each other better before I tell you how I got the name 'Humpty'.

'It's the Titanic, afterwards.'

pro and Con.

Now, the serpent was the craftiest of all the animals in the garden.

So! Graham Greene.

"It's a novel about quarterly reports."

"... and they both pretended to live happily ever after."