Storyteller Of Twisted Tales Mugs

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

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fairy tales

Fairy tale

Witch dice.

I get my ideas on sale...

The Battle of the Pictures.

We contend that the boy cried wolf too many times, leaving my client no choice but to eat him.

Shakespearean Actor

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your...Hey!'

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

Bank Robbery - The CEOs took the money a long time ago.

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

'Tell my wife I can't speak to her right now. However, she can send me a fax detailing the info on whether she had a boy or a girl.'

'This next song is about a close call and a near success. It's called The Grant that Got Away.'

"I like 'Cinderella' - it's just that I feel the characters of the stepsisters are underwritten."

"No, it's a unicorn, not a one-point buck."

Carrie White found a manicurist who makes house calls.

"Of course, this prediction has a plus or minus margin of error of 80% or 90%."

'Goliath's only human and think of the benefits of a replay.'

Unreliable Narrator

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

"Deep down, I really believe the people of this country would've LOVED our brand of freedom and democracy. Too bad they didn't survive it."

Why don't we wait until we know each other better before I tell you how I got the name 'Humpty'.

'No offense, Frank, but your Facebook posts are getting repetitive.'

pro and Con.

Now, the serpent was the craftiest of all the animals in the garden.

'It's the Titanic, afterwards.'

"... and they both pretended to live happily ever after."

"It's a novel about quarterly reports."