Macabre Storyteller Gifts

Doctor Tucker explains surgical procedure in minute detail.

Carrie White found a manicurist who makes house calls.

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Tim Burton

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

Born of the Dead

"You might want to save that for your blog."

Fairy tale

fairy tales

Witch dice.

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

'And this is scraps.'

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"Trick or treat?"

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

The Battle of the Pictures.