Macabre Storyteller T-Shirts

Doctor Tucker explains surgical procedure in minute detail.

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Tim Burton

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

Born of the Dead

fairy tales

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

'And this is scraps.'

Fairy tale

"You might want to save that for your blog."

Witch dice.

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"Trick or treat?"

John Galsworthy

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."

Tupperware Wolf