Story Creator Gifts

Woman over garden fence: 'I've invented some new gossip I'd like circulating.'

'I'll publish it if you include a character obviously based on me.'

Shepherd and eurydice

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Lynching on social media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Edgar Allen Poe

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.