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"I told 'em it was a crazy idea to bring in a 'returns policy'."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Many princes attempted to wake Sleeping Beauty, before one of them simply kissed her'

'...And the mama bear's porridge was frozen solid....'

Maternity Hospital

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"If only we had adventures like in this book. I wouldn't even know where to begin to look..." "You may find, fun is always on my mind! Shall we take the weego my amigo?"

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

"You'll get right back over here if you know what's good for you!"

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

"You can huff and puff all you want. The house is foreclosed and belongs to the bank."

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

A. A. Milne

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

"...went to sleep. And then Mr. Donkey became very quiet and drowsy and he went to sleep. And then Miss Mouse became very quiet and drowsy and she went to sleep. And then Mrs. Bear became very quiet and drowsy and she went to sleep. And then..."

Bears reading a bed time book 'Everyone Scats.'

Already overworked at the Vlasic Plant, an exhausted stork shatters a young couple's dreams,

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

The carriage will turn into a pumpkin, the horses into mice and the beautiful prince into a fat nasty bore...

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!..."

Small steps...

'We'll never make it, Sean. I'm ‘Once upon a time' and you're ‘It was a dark and stormy night.''

"This is the new man. I want you to bring him up to speed."