Store Design Critic Gifts

'That's what I love about your shop, Harry - it's just so convenient!'

'...Couldn't you just get pictures for your desk?'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

Bad Office Planning

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"First the open floor plan, now this."

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

GM Foods.

If you don't see what you want, we don't serve your kind here.

"Oh look, the proposed site for the model Tesco's."

The Bob Dole Home-Shopping Network

'WHO is the architect here?'

"Your problem seems to stem from an appalling lack of design sense."

"Okay, take in the new Persian carpets and the mahogany furniture and if you need more space throw out the big plants and this ugly old thing."

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."

Mall Redesign Competition Winner.

'It's hard to have confidence in a doctor whose office plants don't look very healthy.'

"What's a polite but firm way of letting them know I don't like modern architecture?"

Hmm...not sure about the granny annex...

'You know I don't like saltboxes!'

'It has a few design niggles, but it's our greenest model.'

"I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper." "What's that?" "It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves." "I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything." "They say if you love your work, you never 'work' a day in your life." "To each his own, I guess." "I love everything about shopping. From the seductive 'OPEN' sign, to the supple checkout lines."

"I shouldn't have spent so much on the fake rock. It makes the house look cheap."

'This model comes in these four colours.2

"I was thinking of something more pointy."

"They'e redesigned our cubicles."

It's A Footstool! It's A Hassock!!It's... OTTOMAN!!!

"It appears the ark was designed with no bathroom."

'I'm not so confident in this doctor. Did you notice that his plants don't look so healthy?'

"I remember when walls weren't so bossy."

"I like looking at amateur porn, because I like seeing other people's apartments."

"They'd better be some damn fine oboes."