Store Design Critic Gifts

'That's what I love about your shop, Harry - it's just so convenient!'

'...Couldn't you just get pictures for your desk?'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

Bad Office Planning

"First the open floor plan, now this."

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

GM Foods.

"Oh look, the proposed site for the model Tesco's."

"I take it this is why it's called Brickview Estates."

The Bob Dole Home-Shopping Network

Pillaging For Mom

If you don't see what you want, we don't serve your kind here.

'WHO is the architect here?'

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."

"Your problem seems to stem from an appalling lack of design sense."

"Okay, take in the new Persian carpets and the mahogany furniture and if you need more space throw out the big plants and this ugly old thing."

Mall Redesign Competition Winner.

'It's hard to have confidence in a doctor whose office plants don't look very healthy.'

'It has a few design niggles, but it's our greenest model.'

"I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper." "What's that?" "It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves." "I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything." "They say if you love your work, you never 'work' a day in your life." "To each his own, I guess." "I love everything about shopping. From the seductive 'OPEN' sign, to the supple checkout lines."

Hmm...not sure about the granny annex...

"What's a polite but firm way of letting them know I don't like modern architecture?"

'You know I don't like saltboxes!'

"I shouldn't have spent so much on the fake rock. It makes the house look cheap."

'This model comes in these four colours.2

'I'm not so confident in this doctor. Did you notice that his plants don't look so healthy?'

"They'e redesigned our cubicles."

"I like looking at amateur porn, because I like seeing other people's apartments."

It's A Footstool! It's A Hassock!!It's... OTTOMAN!!!

"They'd better be some damn fine oboes."

Buyables. Disposables.

"I was thinking of something more pointy."