Stock Market Snack Gifts

'Mitchell, how's your research going on fast food chain investments?'

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

Pope tarts.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Sheltering in place.

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

The Invisible Hand of the Market

Fast Food Dieter

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

Second aid

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

Money down the drain.

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

'Today the market roared back on news that greed is good for an ailing economy.'

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

Food van driving through an office.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

It's 10 p.m. Do you know why stocks rise and fall, but the U.S. National debt keeps going up?

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

Hot dog.