Stock Snack Enthusiast Gifts

'There seem to be teeth marks in the stock quotes.'

Tartine

The day the stock market went UP.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Rage.

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Love is when you watch television together.

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"Trail mix?"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Super Heroes.

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

Pope tarts.

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

Sheltering in place.

"Goal!"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."