Snack Enthusiast Gifts

"He's an indoor cat."

The four housemen of procrastination

'Most people wouldn't wantonly eat the hors d'oeuvres if they hadn't read the book.'

"Miss Antonacci, please have a regular coffee and a cheese Danish remanded to my chambers."

Part of the company's new fitness progress, I presume.

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

'I noticed there was nothing in the employee handbook about snacks, naps, or pet's birthdays.'

"The key issue we face is that there are 10 of us, but only 9 biscuits..."

'Well done son. You've put on another inch since last week.'

"Hang on, I think we've got a Ring Ding here."

Coffee, Snacks, and Encouragement.

Cook Book for Guys.

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

"Excuse me, but is this the canteen or the office?"

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

"And could I have a small diet soda please."

Spray Cashews

'Do you know why I stopped you?'

Linda sets a pick, allowing Dave a clear path to the last doughnut.

"I'll stop whining when you stop nagging."

"Let's do snack."

A crinkly crisp goes to a plastic surgeon to straighten out the wrinkles.

"I wrote another five hundred words. Can I have another cookie?"

Pop Quiz.

'When I said to eat a varied diet I didn't just mean buying all 12 varieties of Krispysnax noodles!'

'It's a Twinkie and the expiration date is still good!'

Working from home 2.0

'Who wants to see second prize in the sales contest?'

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

'Common cold? We thought you said 'caramel corn!''

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

'How now, brown cow?'

"No, you idiot. It says 'I left you four brownies'!"

Sign at a border crossing saying "Welcome to the U.S.A. - We'll put M&M's in anything!"

'Look, it's not my place to tell you how to live your life, but we picked up your scent from 30 miles away.'