Stock Market Foodie Gifts

'My broker advises me to have the pork bellies.'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Build Your Own Portfolio

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Dow Jones drop

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

Jumping Wall Street.

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'