Stock Market Snack T-Shirts

'Mitchell, how's your research going on fast food chain investments?'

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Sheltering in place.

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

The Invisible Hand of the Market

Fast Food Dieter

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

Second aid

Money down the drain.

'Beer? Wassat then?'

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

It's 10 p.m. Do you know why stocks rise and fall, but the U.S. National debt keeps going up?

Food van driving through an office.

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'Today the market roared back on news that greed is good for an ailing economy.'

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"