Stock Market Gourmand T-Shirts

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

The wonderful world of cheese.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Cook in the cookery section.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

"I'll have dessert first."

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

Bookworm group

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

Dijon Vu

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"Cemetery Pie"

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

Capturing a Cook

'You say that you were a chef before retraining as an accountant?... That's good, we could use a bookkeeper who can cook.'

'My broker advises me to have the pork bellies.'

You've Got Mail

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."