Doomsday Gourmand T-Shirts

"I'll have dessert first."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"It's fondue night!"

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'What goes with leftovers?' 'I have a bottle of dregs here someplace.'

Dijon Vu

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

Capturing a Cook

"I'd like seconds!"

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Endangered Entrees

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

Too full after after Christmas dinner!

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."