Stock Market Nerd T-Shirts

Bank manager reads book entitled: Banking for Dummies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Great Chinese Dynasties

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Dow Jones drop

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits