Stewarts Scholar Gifts

King James II

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

The first car accident.

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

"Would you like some wings?"

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

Those Were The Days

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'We studied the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper today. May I have an ice cream cone?'

"Have you been working out?"

Wikipedia...

"Must be another paradigm shift."

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

'Read that last part back to me.'

Oog has invented the organization chart.

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

Petrarch

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"Oog creates fire and all you can come up with is that silly round thing!"

Brain Power

Lowbrow Lolita

Francois Rabelais

'Hey! -- what have you done with my invention?'