Starry Scholar Gifts

When Euclid and Galileo get together they talk about parallel universes.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'We studied the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper today. May I have an ice cream cone?'

"Something goes around something, but that's as far as I've got."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

"A study finds that there are billions of earth-like planets in our galaxy."

"It's so good to see them studying so hard. Gracie does it because of her thirst for knowledge. Baldo does it out of self-defense."

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

"Are you sure you're not assigning too much homework? - I don't want to end up overqualified."

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

"She's always been a quick learner."

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

Bring-Your-Child-To-Work Day in an astrophysics lab somewhere.

The Big Drip Theory of the Universe

'...You hear me? Control here, can you hear me?'

Fortune Tellers Convention

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'

Sign by school library reads: 'Passing Lane'

"They came home and got straight on with their homework - apparently it's the latest craze."

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"

Divinity School - Authorized Parsons Only

'When you've seen one star you've seen them all, but every episode of Bargain Hunt is different.'

The Milky Way Galaxy: 'You are here.'

Obscure Constellations

"Why can I only cross 'right' or 'wrong'? What about 'I don't care', 'I don't give a damn' or 'How should I know'?"

Doppler scores with his blue suit.

'Kleinzweck's theory is that the Universe is expanding because it's INHALING.'

Armstrong, did you know that the Milky Way and Adromeda galaxies may already be colliding, billions of years early? A ginormous field of ionized hydrogen that gives birth to stars surrounds each galaxy like a halo. Andromeda's halo may have already caught up to ours. Ah, but of course. Andromeda has drawn first blood with a pre-emptive hostile takeover bid. Reminds me of that time I took over little Alice Chang's lemonade stand while she was napping. Very bad man.

'Look, it's really quite simple: the dark stuff between the stars - that's the dark matter!'