Stereotype Humor Lovers Gifts

Customs at the L.A. Airport

'Why do people always assume I download my music illegally?'

'I'm not eating any of that foreign muck...'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Cow Pinatas

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

True confessions.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Crap from the future.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'One more curse out of you, young man, and it's right down to the principal's office.'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Grounded

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

Imported Candy. "Chocolate Australian Bears"? Yes --- "Coca-Koalas"!

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."