Stereotype Humor Lovers Pillows

Customs at the L.A. Airport

'Why do people always assume I download my music illegally?'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

True confessions.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Crap from the future.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

Grounded

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'