Steps In A Relationship Pillows

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Romance

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"You've changed."

'You know too much!'

Couples' therapy

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.