Relationship Milestones Pillows

'Awww, flowers... So, all is forgiven then...'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"You can't expect me to be dependable all the time!"

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

"I'm not sure about children, but I've always wanted progeny."

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

Close Encounters of the 4th Kind...

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"Stop complaining! If you want to date my son, you have to go through my screening process! Now, concentrate! Question 957:..."

"Do you ever think of getting married?"

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'If having a meaningful relationship, you mean do you want me to screw you regularly... yeah!'

"What more do you want?"

'I think I met Frank at the circus.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'Originally, I wouldn't marry Lance because I wanted to pursue my career. Then later he wouldn't marry me because he wanted to pursue watching television and drinking beer.'

The AdRams Family no.30 - Virtual husband

"Put a sock in it, Sally. You knew I was a lyin' rat when you married me." "You told me you were a big boned mouse!"

"I love you, Beverly, but, when I'm with you, I feel out of my depth."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"You've changed."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Romance

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.