Transition To Romantic Relationship Pillows

'Zowie! I guess this puts the quits to our platonic relationship!'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Sexual chemistry set

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"Boy, I'd love to meet you sometime off leash."

"Oh isn't that your squeeze slithering this way?"

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

'I'm falling in love with Eddie... he has the most beautiful biggest organ ever!'

So … how did you two meet?

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

Lance, do I make you want to be a better man? Let me put it this way, Gloria: you definitely make me want to SEEM to be a better man.

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

I couldn't resist his pickup line. He said he had a job.