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Extreme Court Reporting

Stenographer transcribing 'zzzz' as boss sleeps.

"That will be all, Mrs. Bernstein. During the break, we reached a verbal agreement."

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

Myrtle has a tropical thought balloon, distracting her from the glamourous world of stenography....

"Clerk, I'd like Madame Foreperson's remarks about a well-hung jury stricken from the record."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"'Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble..."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'I hated to let my stenographer go. I liked dictating.'

'My new boss expects me to touch-type, a skill I'll have to digitally remaster.'

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Polly txt speak

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Burning the midnight oil.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Sign my yearbook?"

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Farm Humor.

The Worm Charmer

Working in the Hazard Zone!