Stenographer Gifts

Extreme Court Reporting

Stenographer transcribing 'zzzz' as boss sleeps.

"That will be all, Mrs. Bernstein. During the break, we reached a verbal agreement."

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

Myrtle has a tropical thought balloon, distracting her from the glamourous world of stenography....

"Clerk, I'd like Madame Foreperson's remarks about a well-hung jury stricken from the record."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"'Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble..."

Too busy

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'I hated to let my stenographer go. I liked dictating.'

'My new boss expects me to touch-type, a skill I'll have to digitally remaster.'

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Polly txt speak

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Burning the midnight oil.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Sign my yearbook?"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"