Cinematographer Gifts

Jim and Betty Noir could turn a simple trip to the post office into gripping melodrama.

'I know you're watching the budget, but this isn't really doing justice to the battle of Waterloo.'

Tenafly International Film Festival

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

"Look, I love the city, too, but wouldn't it be cheaper to shoot this in Canada?"

"That was a good adaptation."

Canadian film production

Sloth Studios - "Lights! camera! inaction!"

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

Hollywood - the early years

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: All in a Day's Work

"Look! I see an abbreviated version of Disney's Bambi."

'Imagine what Hollywood special-effects people could do with this scene!'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Auguste and Louis Lumiere

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"Are you sure this is a Film Noir"

Best Special Effects Award

Cinema: Now Playing - Based on the selfie that went viral.

An old-fashioned camera operator cranking a movie camera

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

"Mr. Goldwyn on the wire, Mr. Morris."

Subtitles for the Stupid

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

"Please direct your attention to the monitors for a very important contribution to airline-safety cinema."

The Fevered Brow of Ken Burns

Kirsten Johnson

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Honey, check it out! It’s Thelma and Louise."

Stunt lemmings.

"I tried running in gyms, but nothing gets me motivated like running towards a love interest...."

Portrait of Stanley Kubrick