Steel Wool Realist Gifts

Where steel wool comes from.

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

'Happy now?'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'I so wish we had found the shears in the shipwreck...'

Genetic Manipulation

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

'Sure, have some wool to keep your eggs nice and warm...'

Virgin wool - 'Clippers On a first date What kind of ewe do you think I am'

Sheep with its wool unwinding because it's snagged on a tree

Academia in Winter

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

The wool club for mammoths.

'Thanks girls: Boy it's cold today!'

Shear Love.

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

"Wow, you're right, Alpaca Wool is very nice against the skin..."

"Brrr! Lucky you, growing your own blanket!"

My feet were cold.

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

Dear Diary...Resolutions

"I knew it was just a matter of time before the sheep hit the fan."

"Your father helped me, too."

Wooly mammoth

Sheep Knitting.

"We quickly realized it was fruitless trying to compete, so now we work together and sell blended wool..."

Sheep has it's fur shorn into a tutu.

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

Who am I kidding?