Steaklover Gifts

'Who ran that steak down? A lion, tiger or bear?'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"And how would you like your steak?"

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'OK, sir, sorry that meat was too rare for you. It should be fine now.'

"Veal or non-veal?"

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

Cow Gag Gifts

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

'The Big Beg Theory'

"One medium rare and one with honey."

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

"Heh, Trump likes his steaks well done with ketchup. Jesus."

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."