Steak Lover Under Circumstances Gifts

'I'm a situational vegan. If someone else is paying it's an eight ounce kobi steak for me.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"And how would you like your steak?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

Cow Gag Gifts

'OK, sir, sorry that meat was too rare for you. It should be fine now.'

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'The Big Beg Theory'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"One medium rare and one with honey."

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

"Heh, Trump likes his steaks well done with ketchup. Jesus."

Prime Meats.

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."